Wednesday, January 27, 2010

When the dog just doesn't cut it...


Need someone to help me - w4m - 28 (Greenwich Village)


Date: 2010-01-24, 10:14AM EST


I have a problem. The father is not around. If you don't mind me being pregnant, I have been getting a lot. I don't want anything else, just sex, then you leave. pic gets mine. Please be serious, and write more than a sentence. No face pic, no response (two pics would me nice) you know what I mean.

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1567966596

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Mullets need love too


Looking for my Karaoke-singing badASS lady - m4w - 24 (Minnesota)


Date: 2010-01-15, 9:17PM CST


I’m a stylish, badAss SACKS-maching and a very talented pro-bowl defensive tackle seeking a partner in this crazy, unpredictable world where a 40+ quarterback can beat the pants off a beady-eyed young guy from Dallas.

I’m looking for someone fun, willing to fill-in for a missing member of the Mullet Mullitia when a performance is already booked, someone who willing to drive, all the time, as I no longer have the “right” to have a license (long story, totally not my fault). I’m not picky about looks, although a faux-hawk or a mullet would fit in nicely. And Hairdressers are encouraged to apply, as we have a lot of upkeep to consider.

So if you think you qualify as a badASS chica (I will be the judge of that), you carry your own cutting shears, and you know the words to every death metal song every written, please send me your photo. Let’s talk.

  • Location: Minnesota
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I didn't know Lindsay Lohan was back in NYC!?!


@@@beautiful ACTRESS seeking a genuine DENTIST..... (Upper East Side)


Date: 2010-01-12, 3:40PM EST


A very talented cute actress looking to offer genuine companionship for real full dental treatment.

sincerely,
thanks

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1549526828

If you're looking for obedience, why not order one from a catalog?


Can't shake the feeling I'm making a mistake getting married - m4w - 40 (State of Confusion)


Date: 2010-01-08, 4:57AM EST


I'm about to get married and I'm not sure if I should. I'm relatively very satisfied with my wife to be, but I feel there's something missing. I can just go along and compromise like everyone else and be happy, but. . .

The only way I won't marry this wonderful woman is if I can find a woman to offer two things:
1) Unconditional, undying devotion
2) Complete obedience.

If there is a woman out there willing to offer these things to an ordinary guy - not rich, not famous, just a normal guy you smile at on the subway or on the street - respond to this email. I don't want to know what you look like yet, just want to know you exist. We'll take it from there.

Please no solicitations from dating web sites, id verfication sites,or adult entertainment sites. Serious replies only. Thank you. I wish you well.

GGG
  • Location: State of Confusion
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1542750871

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Gilbert Arenas, this is for you

This seems like a much better place to store you guns than say your locker:

OAK GUN CABINET FOR TRADE (MOUND)
Date: 2010-01-06,
1:52PM CST

Classic Oak 10 Gun Cabinet with Locking Doors Part of the Classic Oak
Collection by Eagle Industries Description Securely store your hunting gear in this casual designed Gun Cabinet. It features 4 doors with 2 locking doors, lined felt and holds approximately 10 rifles and 5 hand guns. Depth: 14 inches Width: 42 inches Height: 75 inches Like new!!! Delivery possible!

WILL TRADE FOR SNOWMOBILE......WOOD STOVE.....????


Location: MOUND
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
other commercial interests
PostingID: 1540325428



I wonder if he'll accept free tickets to a Wizard game in exchange for this amazing piece of craftsmanship?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

It's spelt Zubaz

Chuck E Cheese Ball Pit - m4m - 60 (Ball Pit)
Date: 2010-01-04, 11:13PM CST

I was in the ball pit, I still had pizza grease on my face when I saw you dip into the deep end of the pit. I closed my eyes and pretended I was a mermaid and you were a sailor (semen?lol). Then I pretended I was in a nuclear submarine and you were a whale on my sonar. I wanted to harpoon you and explore your blow hole. Do you think we'd fit in a bumper car together? I know a way we could make it fit. Let me know what color my Zubas were and I'll know it's you.

Location: Ball Pit
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1537902004

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